Fuck everything I felt for you. It'll be the closest you get to the real thing. I gave you everything I had and it still wasn't enough. I got so sick of getting dragged into your drama that I had to cut you off for a bit. I needed that time to myself. Yet it pains me to realize how weak I really am around you. You think it's ok to use people to get what you want and I'm dumb enough to let you do that. Fuck this power you have over me. I wish you'd just go away and let me live my life. Yet no matter how hard I try I'm never satisfied until I'm with you.
I've never compromised so much of what I believe in for anyone. I've never taken such a big risk of given up so much for anyone else and yet I have nothing to show for it.
I need to not have you in my life. I often think about when we first met. The only regret I have in life was getting to know you because my heart breaks knowing the truth about you and why we can't be together. I can't shake this feeling and the guilt is overwhelming. I can't move on and be happy with my life knowing you will always be in the back of my mind.
So fuck it. Fuck everything. I don't want to deal with this but the more I try and ignore it, the harder it comes back to hit me.
No comments:
Post a Comment